I know I’m just asking for trouble with that title. Can you imagine the kinds of searches this post is going to pop up in? Some people are about to be really disappointed and my spam blocker is about to be working overtime.
Anyway, today I’m going to discuss something that has come up several times in the past on my blog: The topic of yoga class etiquette. (Sorry, creepers.) In the hundreds of classes that I have attended I’ve encountered some occasionally very gross people. I’m talking about you, lady who used her pant leg as a Kleenex. People that don’t do a lot of yoga might also assume that I’ve heard a lot of random farting, but I haven’t…I can count on one hand the amount of times someone has farted loudly in class and it was never, ever me. I swear.
Here is a short list of things that I personally consider to be standard and obvious that you just don’t do at Bikram class:
- Don’t wear your shoes in the room. This goes for any yoga class.
- Come in with a mat, towels, and water. You don’t need anything else. Bikram does not require props.
- When you enter the room, don’t leave the door hanging open unless otherwise instructed. (It lets all the hotness out.)
- Don’t loudly talk to your friends in the room while waiting for class to start.
- Don’t make a huge racket when you are leaving and other people are still in savasana.
- Don’t eat in the room. About a month or so ago, this girl next to me was actually eating snacks out of a plastic bag. In her socks. With her whole backpack full of crap and shoes piled up practically on my mat. My head almost exploded. I wish I could have gotten up and moved, but I really liked my spot and I was there first, dammit. I also know I probably sound like a huge snob, but frankly I just don’t care. It was gross and she was invading my personal space like woah.
These things all seem pretty reasonable right? Well last night, I got to add something new to my list. I also consider this to be a reasonable request and I never imagined that this would be something I would encounter while going to an innocent yoga class.
- NO PDA IN THE STUDIO. For the sake of everyone else around you just don’t do it. Please.
I’ve been practicing yoga for 5 years. This is the first time I’ve ever seen people making out. Or maybe they weren’t exactly making out, but they were pretty damn close. I’m not big on public displays of affection as it is and maybe I’m a big ol’ prude, but the last thing I want to see when I’m waiting for a class to start are two sweaty people with their arms and legs all around each other whispering sweet nothings or whatever the hell they were doing because I was trying desperately to NOT hear what they were saying. I love my husband to the ends of the Earth, but it is 105 degrees in that room, never mind the fact that there are also 30 other people in there. There’s a time and a place and this, in my opinion, was neither the time nor the place.
I should have known there would be trouble when I saw them canoodling in the hallway as I was taking off my shoes and it’s my bad for putting my mat next to the two mats that were practically on top of each other when there was plenty of space to spread out. You’d think I was talking about young people, but I’m not. These people were older; they probably had at least 15 years on me. So I feel like they should know better or maybe when I reach a certain age, I’m going to quit caring what other people think and do whatever I want in public? Just start going out without my pants on maybe?
Who knows. Anyway I’m sure they are probably super nice people and I’m happy for them they are oh so in love. But please spare me the show. That’s not what I go there to see.
Am I completely off base with this or would anyone else find this totally offensive?